Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity

Well, nobody died since the last edition, which is a good thing. (As long as you aren't trying to sell a Watain album, anyway.) Normalcy returns, and it's time to get back on the trading block. After a bit of a lull, the metallic action is starting to heat up again. June has started with a bang, and 2010 is poised to finish with immense strength. There isn't a hell of a lot of underground filth crossing my desk lately, so let's focus on the heavy hitters, shall we? Buy or sell...

 

Eddie

He's back, and he's gone full sci-fi gonzo. "El Dorado" kinda came out of nowhere, and has proven to be a bit of a grower. Though a bit lackadaisical at first blush (Bruce sounds like he recorded the vocals on the couch, with a beer in his hand and the remote balanced on his gut), the song has a certain Somewhere in Time-ish charm to it. I'll spare you the usual fan-poring over art direction and production choices--the Reverend is more of a Priest guy, anyway

 

 

Dimmu Borgir

These guys get more annoying by the second. In their ongoing quest to make Rhapsody of Fire sound like fucking Hellhammer by comparison, everyone's favorite antibacterial superheroes recently announced that over 101 musicians have contributed to the recording of their new album. One hundred and one. Great to see that they haven't let success go to their heads, and that any potential delusions of grandeur have been held in check. Speaking of delusions...

 

 

Rocket of The Metal Den

Music journalist Randy “Rocket” Cody is an undisputed legend in the world of heavy metal, and the creator of the only site that also promotes “unsigned” metal talent. He has served as a great mentorship [sic] for literally hundreds of upcoming musical acts around the globe. You could call [him] the only heavy metal journalist/historian and promoter on the planet. With his worldwide fame at its height right now, every one [sic] and their mother wants to work with him....

 

 

Rocket of The Metal Den

...but you would only believe this if you were a) Rocket himself, b) a fucking moron, or c) a fucking moron that read this interview that he conducted with himself (via his wife) and posted on his own website. The entire "article" is a one-man bukkake volcano of clinically delusional self-promotion. (The straight-out-of-1998 clip art only adds to the unintentional awesomeness.) Someone get this dude a towel. Or some meds. 

 

 

Decrepit Birth

Timing is everything. Let's be honest: the wind is out of the tech-death sails. Anata is nowhere to be found, Willowtip has become a grindcore label, and quite simply, the whole movement has lost the plot. The also-rans are about to fall to the wayside in the wake of over-saturation, and when Decrepit Birth drops Polarity in late July, it'll decimate the herd. This isn't unfounded speculation. This is absolute FACT. You have been warned.

 

 

Watain's Marketing Campaign

In the midst of the media whirlwind that accompanied Lawless Darkness, Erik Danielsson told Melissa Mercury that on June 8th (the date of the album's release), fans should commit an act of supposed "free will" by "stabbing a motherfucker" or burning a church. Remember when black metallers would actually stab people and commit arson, instead of twisting the actions of others into contradictory, chickenhawkish marketing slogans? Me too.

 

 

[Rev. Jordan Campbell*]

*will be back in two weeks, provided he doesn't quit this gig for a mailroom job at The Metal Den.

(This column, like the rest of the Internet, is best viewed with Google Chrome)


Posted Jun 11 2010, 08:24 AM by Rev

Comments

JW wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 10:47 AM

I'm stealing Bukkake Volcano as a songtitle for my grindcore project.  Thanks.

TheSlayerM wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 11:52 AM

Rocket of The Metal Den: hahahahaha

Sid777 wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 1:39 PM

Sounds like someone here holds a special place in their heart for this ROCKET character... who REALLY cares!

Maybe this site should worry more about the fact that ROCKET and THE METAL DEN have been around HALF as long as this site and are TWICE as popular.

You guys can't even load up your own news stories... powered by Brave Words? WTF??

Clearly... Metal Review is jealous.. I don't know either of you, but I sense that's where all the Rev's hostility towards the man comes from.

Lycanthropus Rex wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 2:47 PM

I'm sure Metal Review would be more popular if all they reviewed was cheese-dick mainstream metal and glam rock. Unfortunately for them, they give way more of a shit about actually covering music that isn't completely irrelevant/doesn't suck shit like a human centipede.

Jason Jordan wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:02 PM
Sid777 wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:08 PM

oh snap! ROCKET of TMD himself just fired off a wicked rant against Rev here:

themetalden.com/index.php

His words made me laugh so hard I spit up my drink!!

Sophus wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:36 PM

Decrepit Birth is likely to continue slaying, but there's also new albums by Atheist and Gorguts to look forward to

Rev wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:40 PM

@Sophus: Admittedly, I did neglect to give the old guard their dues. That new Gorguts is going to kill.

Lycanthropus Rex wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:43 PM

That was a wicked rant? Looked more like the confused bitching of a delusional moron to me.

trezevant wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:51 PM

Dude, Rocket, if you're going to post here under a different name and pretend to be a different person, at least put in a good-faith effort to not use the exact same talking points that you use on your site. You must be new at this whole internet thing.

Twilight Frost wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 3:58 PM

This is one of my favorite bits of content on the site. Glad you've kept it up, Rev.

Sid777 wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 4:25 PM

Well all of you are spending your entire day talking about this guy... when it's obvious he's done nothing wrong but run a metal site THAT doesn't just use some other sites news feed... how lame is that?

And Metal Melissa...why do you find it necessary to put 'Metal' in front of your name?

Is it because secretly you listen to Lady Gaga.. but want everyone to think you're into Goatwhore? LOL

This is my first day on this site... BTW.

Metal Melissa wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 4:26 PM

Wow.

*picks jaw up from the floor*

What a DOUCHEROCKET.

I mean, call me crazy here, but - you aren't a LEGEND of anything if its a self-proclaimed title. Period.

And what an argument. Rev may not actually be a reverend?! no way!!

Well, honestly, it might both sadden and disturb me to learn that he is, in fact, NOT AN ACTUAL ROCKET! (gasp!)

funeralthirst7 wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 4:26 PM

Cant wait for Polarity. Album of the year contender without a doubt.

Eminor wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:00 PM

Funny how this was posted this morning and within a couple of hours Rocket/Sid777 had already found it and responded.  And he says he's not a fan...

Anyway, I've never heard of this guy until now, but he really represented himself to be a total assclown.  Gotta love a writer that thinks he's a rockstar.  Yes, you're world famous, and everyone and their mother is dying to 'work with you.'  Hilarious

Sid777 wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:08 PM

Rev just posted at TMD's site:

"Just so you know: we aren’t a news site. We provide editorial content. We prefer to let other sites handle re-publishing press releases as “news.”

Best of luck with the site. Keep up the good work."

Rocket hit back with this:

“Keep up the good work?” Wait a minute, man. You just got done trying to discredit my work to the world with your PUSSY FUCK article… and now all you’ve got to say is “Keep up the good work?”

FUCK YOU!

I have been busting my GODDAMN ASS for the ENTIRE metal community, ‘mainstream metal AND the underground scene’ for the past FIVE YEARS!!

I first wrote at metalunderground.com in 2006 and was the first EVER metal journalist there to feature “unsigned’ bands, black metal, thrash and everything in between. Do you have any clue as to how BIG that site’s viewership is now, due mainly to me being the only writer who could cover anything worth half a shit over there… til I split in 2007 to start my own site.

And what did I hear from that douche bag editor over there: “Why do you write about bands that nobody knows?”

Umm… how about cause there’s a ton of upcoming metal acts that open for the national acts that need to be written about too, names like EKOTREN, DOWNSPELL, DELIVER US FROM EVIL, NINETAIL… ever heard of them?

Probably not, cause you’re too SMALL FUCKING MINDED!

I am just ONE DUDE who has been trying to save metal from becoming a gay screamo trend… which is where it was headed when I started TMD.

So I don’t give a SHIT what YOU or your non-news site has to say about

my LEGEND in this business.

I just interviewed Philip H Anselmo of PANTERA/DOWN/SUPERJOINT RITUAL… ever heard of him? How about WARBEAST? I just interviewed their vocalist, Bruce Corbitt… formerly of RIGOR MORTIS. Ever heard of him?

Who gives a FUCK if I cover all areas of metal including the old glam bands. These guys helped make metal what it is… and are more musically inclined than ninety five percent of the CRAP I see you promote on your non-news site.

Nah,man… don’t come crawling back to try and save face now after attacking someone YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW.

You’re a young man… with a lot to learn, bro. GROW THE FUCK UP!!!

Deke' wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:30 PM

Someone fell off the meth' wagon again.

Konrad wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:50 PM

I loved this JC.

I know most of you probably aren't hip-hop gurus or anything...but these lyrics were written specifically for all of the ROCKET types. They touch on the unfortunately common misconception that the best way to get someone's (who you greatly admire) attention is to diss them...and I don't mean playfully.

www.youtube.com/watch (song)

ohhla.com/.../linda.flw.txt (lyrics) ...This is GOLD.

My point is that Rocket <3's Rev JC...and I know he's reading this and knows it :-D

Matt wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:53 PM

Dude from The Mental Den isn't a fan of Metal Review, but he sure had no problems ripping off a background image I created in an old version of the site.

Here's the original folks:

metalreview.com/.../crowdBG.png

Fridays are always slow....  we knew our rant would bring the cockroach from out of the shadows of his poser webzine.  Mission accomplished. Thanks for the laughs douche!

trezevant wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 5:55 PM

Let this be a lesson to us all: the louder you talk about how great you are, the more desperate you sound.

Reason wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 6:12 PM

Oh man, this bit really killed me...

"So I don’t give a SHIT what YOU or your non-news site has to say about

my LEGEND in this business.

I just interviewed Philip H Anselmo of PANTERA/DOWN/SUPERJOINT RITUAL… ever heard of him?"

If there was anyone more equipped to pen a manual on how to be a total douche...

zach wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 7:00 PM

This is going to be Exhibit A in the case of what drove this blowhard to kill a cracka.

Wharwulf wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 8:06 PM

Maiden > Priest... enjoyable read nevertheless, Rev.

zach wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 8:37 PM

Wharwulf, gotta give you mad props for never taking down the Chuck avatar. It's a constant.

Wharwulf wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 11 2010 8:46 PM

Hahaha... Jimmie filled me in on this mess and I must admit I was oblivious to the mayhem when I first posted. After getting myself caught up with this soap opera I find it... well, let's just say I've wasted 20 minutes or so in worse ways.

"Den Hedz"... really?

p.s. Thanks, Zach. Chuck is my metal hero!

TheSlayerM wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 6:14 AM

This...this is GOLD! Hahaha

Rocket's latest reply to Rev proves that Rocket is reaaaaly the man, because he has been promoting metal FOR FIVE YEARS!! I mean, wow, that's like half of a ten year old's life. You show some god damn respect for that!!11

zach wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 7:58 AM

I'd think "Den-izens" would work far better.

Konrad wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 8:30 AM

@SlayerM, dude even though 5 years isn't that long, he HAS reviewed Chevelle, Drowningpool and Korn in the process. That's a pretty short amount of time to find such obscure music...so I can't hate on him for that.

TheSlayerM wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 9:47 AM

Konrad, what you just said puts more shame on MR and Rev if he even iz a Revrendz !!1 Not kvlt dewd!!11

PachLGV wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 11:29 AM

Who the fuck is this Rocket you all keep talking about??

Oh, and btw, Priest > Maiden.

PachLGV wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 11:50 AM

Ohhhh wait, I just looked this guy up. His latest reviews:

Nonpoint

Slash

Ratt

hahahahahahahahahaha thats just lame....

lee wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 12:00 PM

I want to kick that faggot (no offence to real gay people) Dan's ass. What a retard. I wish he would post here. Nice article Rev and thanks for linking the new Maiden song. I dig it. Has a big time raw 80's vibe to me unlike stuff like the Wickerman, etc. they have released as singles since Bruce came back. I really dig Bruce's vocals for some reason, they sound raw and cool to me. I have been on a huge 80's kick for like a month anyways so I'm down for this and yes, Maiden greater then Priest.

lee wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 12:04 PM

Don't be dissing Ratt

scintilla wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 1:34 PM

I really love this site but i would prefer not to read all this personal attack/trashing crap from either side of the argument. I come here for the intelligent and well written articles & reviews...and for the humor!

Keep it (relatively) clean...

And I love the stills from the Decrepit Birth shoot. Badass.

Stalker wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 8:01 PM

What a fucking awesome read, and quite a perfect storm really. I never heard of this guy before, and don't think you were too rude in your description, but his reaction is classic (in a cripple sort of way). Modesty goes much further in life than chest thumping.

Glad to hear Decrepit Birth didn't jump the shark like Brain Drill did. Also, from a distance, the cover looks very similar to the new Soilwork (save color scheme). Odd, considering how vastly different their sounds are.

Randy wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 10:01 PM

Randy "Rocket" Cody is a disgrace to Randy's everywhere.

deathfreak wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Sat, Jun 12 2010 11:25 PM

Randy “Rocket” Cody? I have never heard of him.

ethr wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Mon, Jun 14 2010 8:58 PM

lol thanks rev made my day

aarghon wrote re: Reverend's Bazaar - Delusional Polarity
on Fri, Jun 18 2010 10:24 PM

Just read what that rocket dude wrote as a talkback on his site... That is utfuckingmost ridiculous... One could argue that rev started the "war", but one could also argue that rocket is an extromega fucking bragging prick that has nothing to do with the metal TROOliness he's preaching....