Ah, summer. That glorious time of year when Kyuss reclaims their throne as the raddest band that ever lived, Choco Tacos become a staple of your diet, and pale-ass Minnesotans like myself become, well, less pale. Best of all, the heavy metal buzz begins to brew to a boil. New releases from Blood Revolt, The Crown, Dax Riggs, and Iron fuckin' Maiden are peeking out from the horizon, and both Europe and the Americas are being battered with an onslaught of touring. Good times, friends. Good times.
However, one must take a machete to the overgrowth of cliched hype that plagues this influx. Granted, it's not difficult to wade through, but it can certainly grow tiresome. And you know what's as just cripplingly, mind-numbingly, maddeningly tiresome as manufactured publicity? The continued usage of the e-terms "tr00" and "kvlt." Yeah, I know that their usage is mostly ironic at this point, but they're still used as a defense mechanism in more inane circles. Posters at more, ahem, mainstream-minded publications repeatedly lean on these terms when their "metalness" is somehow perceived to be compromised or emasculated. (As in, "Oh, sorry if I'm not troo or kvlt enough," after failing to recognize Byron Stroud at Denny's or something.) Part of heavy metal's appeal is its exclusivity, and when someone reveals themselves to be a tad more exclusive, snippy reactions are sadly inevitable. That doesn't make them any less misguided or pathetic. These lazy retorts are not only rooted in jealousy, but are wholly counterproductive and contradictory. The point of journalistic outlets, blogs, and forums is to expand horizons and reach out to people. Metal fans should be eager sponges, not impish pissants. So, let's put a fuckin' moratorium on the usage once and for all, eh? Not only because the terms have always looked and sounded ridiculous, but because they've been beaten to fucking death. The trend is dead.
Speaking of terms that have been bludgeoned to shit lately...
Okay, face it: the new Soilwork doesn't hold a candle. Let's stop with the low-ass standards already. And Danzig's latest, Deth Red Sabaoth, ain't the picnic it's been advertised to be, either. Glenn sounds every bit his fifty-plus years, Tommy Victor can't pull off the John Christ impression he's gunning for on tracks like "Rebel Spirits," and the organic production is little more than a facade. Don't buy the hype: the much-bandied phrase "return to form" is rarely truthful.
After stumbling back into the game with the drier-than-shit Antikosmos, Shamaatae is suddenly on a roll. 2009's ÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞ has revealed itself to be an absolute scorcher, and Debemur Morti recently shed some serious light on the one-man act's late 90's heyday by reissuing his first three albums. Now, Sviga Læ is due in October, and if it even sniffs the quality of ÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞÞ, Arckanum will be inches from the solo BM throne.
Coincidentally named after an Arckanum track, these Swedes aren't exactly basking Shamaatae's elite glory. With a recent shellacking at Hellbound, combined with a ridiculously low aggregated score of 49 compiled by Horns of the Devil, Drifting Through the Void is arguably the most widely-panned album of 2010. When comparisons to the Gin Blossoms, Soul Asylum, and Hootie and the Blowfish arise, it's time to go back to the black metal drawing board.
Never one to shy away from being simultaneously brick-headed and arrogant, Phil recently dismissed Averse Sefira--a respected, engaging, veteran black metal trio--by stating, "Too many American black metal bands today. It’s just too much of a trend. It’s silly – all one-man bands. Man, I did that shit with Viking Crown fucking, what, 12 years ago?" Yes, Phil, you did. And it sucked.
After expelling some boring-ass demons with Prevail and Ex Deo, the Hyperblasters might be back on track; "Determined (Vows of Vengeance)" is a hard-driving lil' rager. But I'll be damned if the album cover--not to mention the cack-awful t-shirt that comes with the preorder package--ain't the ugliest thing to hit the streets since Sam Cassell's sex tape.
This horribly-monikered Canadian unit put out a killer EP called Isolated in 2008. Shades of later Death propelled this thing to semi-irregular rotation, and after a solid little session with Isolated last week, I decided to see what the band had slated for the future. Apparently, a whole lot of nothing is on tap; they broke up in June. Pour one out for another band that left us too soon.
Showing serious testicular fortitude, Vogg has rebuilt Decapitated. Wasting little time, the new collective has been thrust into the headlining slot of the Summer Slaughter Tour, which kicked off last week. (Save any complaints about the validity of this revamped outfit; anyone who has witnessed their live show knows that Decapitated has always been Vogg's vehicle.) After such a brutal tragedy, it's good to see him doing his thing. Best of luck.
*doesn't actually consume dangerous quantities of Choco Tacos, but if he could, he certainly would. Those things are for real.
Posted
Jul 23 2010, 03:01 PM
by
Rev