I worked for the devil.

     When I moved back to my parents home after my first year of college, I did what every god damn person would do. Look for a fucking job. Little did I know, this would not be an easy task. I assumed because I had previous retail experience and a pretty extensive knowlage of electronics and the more extreme side of sports, getting a nice sales associate job would be a peice of cake. I got right on applying for all the retail jobs I considered up to my standards. Best Buy, Circuit City, Sports Authority...ect. I waited and waited expecting calls for job interviews...they never came...I became a little more desperate after about 3 weeks, applying for night stocking jobs and grocery stores...and what I considered the ass-hole of the world...Wal*Mart.

     Interviews started coming in, First was for night stocking at Albertsons Grocery, then Circuit City called and I realized the managers were complete ass-hats and I would not take a job working for them if they offered it. A few other hopefull interviews came through...all fell through once they found out I was moving across state in 2 1/2 months.

     During my morning ritual of browsing through all my music and listening to playlists and such...the phone rings, caller ID reads Wal*Mart, right then I instantly regretted applying there. Long story short, I went in for an interview 20 minutes after the call came, after passing a pee test and background check I was the newest Electronics Sales Associate at Wal*Mart. |

     I have learned a few things about Wal*Mart in my almost 3 months working there. Since tomorrow is my last day, I thought I would BLOG EXTRAVAGANZA about it.

1) They don't hire just anyone anyone with a pulse, Both drug and background checks must be passed. My manager has been trying to hire someone to replace me. At least 5 have been turned away due to the drug test results.

2) Undercover security gaurds. Yes, they wander the store in unknown numbers, I was not told about them when I was hired...I just became suspicious after some big burly fellow was in electronics for 5 straight hours doing nothing but watching people while pretending to browse DVDs.

3) Wal*Mart is an extremely well oiled machine, backstock is watched like a hawk, with the press of a button an employee can check to see if a certain color of $5 ear-buds are in stock at a store 100 miles away, or if they are on a truck to be delivered that night.

4) Europeans buy iPods at Wal*Mart in mass quantities when the US dollar is down. British, Germans, whatever come into the store at least a new one every week and buys hundreds of dollars in hand held electronics, iPods, Zunes, PSPs, Nintendo DS;. 

5) Working the front registers is the worst thing you can do to a human being. I had worked there for all of 2 weeks before I was called to the front because they needed a cashier to cover while one was on lunch. Before I had my register turned on there was a line 30 feet long. The combination of stupid people, impatient people and people on government aid makes being a cashier living hell. I spent maybe 4 total hours working the front register in my time at Wal*Mart and I know better than to check the Cashier position in another job application.

6) Employees actually somewhat enjoy working there. I go into the break room and it's mostly old people working their 6 years for a small retirement plan. But, they honestly seem to enjoy being there. Other places I have worked, the break room is for a god damn break, at this particular store, it's like everyone was given free energy drinks.

7) Stereotypes play themselves out at Wal*Mart. As I live in a area with lots of farms, we have lots of illegal immigrants who get paid under the table to keep McDonalds' supply of potatoes coming in. Most of them don't speak a lick of English and use their kids as translators...who suck at it anyway. Black people buy watermelon and alchohol together, nothing else. White people are all red-necks who don't know shit about using the electronics they just bought. Japanese wonder why we don't have a massive stock of Anime DVDs. White teenagers all want to be black and get all pissy when they try returning their new 50 Cent CD after finding out Wal*Mart does not stock explicit lyric music, it's all edited and amended to suit.

8) Most people who are buying the Wii, just want to know if they get Wii Tennis and Bowling. They don't need any other games.

9) I have seen a grand total of 2 Wii fits in the store...ever. Zero Mario Kart games.

10) I actually somewhat enjoyed working there...

     I got paid $2 more per hour than I was asking for on applications, I had great benefits such as $4 flat rate cost for perscriptions, discount on cell-phone bill, 10% discount on nearly everything in the store. They help pay costs of people getting their GEDs, help employees in need when disaster strikes (fire, flood...ect). Wal*Mart may be the evil corporation that destroys local business, but god damn, for how big they are, they know how to treat an employee...other than the fact there was a sign in the back saying how much each employee is worth to Wal*Mart...which is around $200

Next up, more free music.