Note to Favre: We Don't Care

I don't like Brett Favre.

The source of my derision is fairly simple.  I'm a diehard Minnesota Viking fan, and therefore have been bred to loathe anything associated with the Green Bay Packers: their putrid uniforms, the combined arrogance and ignorance of their "my-wife-and-I-have-had-matching-Starter-jackets-since-1997-but-have-only-washed-them-twice" fanbase, and the grossly inflated ego of Brett "Redneck Jesus" Favre, the NFL's Interception King.  Now, that last point of frustration is a fairly recent development.  Until recently, I (and the majority of Viking fans) have carried a burden of measured respect for the 3-TIme MVP.  His talent was undeniable, and he has consistently been one of the most visually exciting players in the league.  Favre had been the face of the Packers for as long as I can remember --the Don Majkowski era is a but a hazy flash in the depths of my skull-- and while the rivalry was usually venomous, the play and enthusiasm that Number 4 displayed was usually --usually-- beyond serious criticism.

But recent years have seen his level of respect plummet.  After each season would come to a close, the man would hem and haw and piss and twiddle over the subject of his retirement, always pussyfooting around the issue in order to drum up media attention.  Everyone aside from the Wisco Faithful and John "The thing I love about Brett Favre..." Madden saw through his charade and grew tired of it quickly, and last year, Packers GM Ted Thompson finally had enough.  Ultimatum was given:  Fucking Make Up Your Mind Already, Jackass.  Dude made up his mind and retired.  Thousands of cheeseheads slit their wrists, thousands of Bear and Viking fans shrugged and said "Hmm. This will be kinda strange...", and hundreds of Lion fans didn't give a shit, because they have Jon Kitna and The Guiding Hand of God to lead them to another 5-win season.

But lo and behold, not even three fucking months after seemingly accepting the fact that his indescretions were costing his team victories and that he's simply too goddamn old, Mr. Favre is expressing "interest" in returning to the game, and is expecting everyone --fans, teammates, coaching staff, media-- to fawn over him as he strings everyone along.  Again.  The latest development is that Favre, seemingly upset that the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel has been devoting a majority of its coverage to the Brewers' chase for the pennant, sent Ted Thompson a text message stating his desire to return.  Thompson's reply?  I'll get back to you in a week, when I return from vacation.

So what should that tell you, Brett Favre?  Because your perception of the sentiment of those involved is minimal, and because both Ted and the Packer faithful are too brainwashed and vaginalized to tell you, I'll say it:  They want you to fuck off and get over yourself.  The team has moved on, the state has moved on, and you are not, I repeat, you are not bigger than the team.  Take your fucking ball and go home to Mississippi, because the NFC North is over you.  Buck up and accept it, and stop pissing all over yourself, your career, and whatever respect your rivals have had for you over the past decade and a half.  If you are going to make a big, tearful, bloated pageant about something in public, have the integrity and self-respect to stand by your word.  Stay retired, old man.

Is all this vitriol partially due to the fact that I am clamoring to see Jared Allen knock the living shit out of Aaron Rodgers?  Sure.  But the root of the issue is that everyone is sick of Brett Favre right now...except Brett Favre himself.